There are a lot of great relationship builders out there. They walk around events with ease, chatting with each and every person – so much so, you can almost see that connection. Memory plays so much into this, and it wasn’t until recently that this truly came to light. Your hippocampus is the part of your brain that houses a memory, and Discovery Health calls it the “librarian” of your memories.

Being able to remember the little details – and be a detail oriented person – is key in relationship building. Those that only”see the big picture” see connections as chess pieces to help them in some way. Relationships are superficial, and therein is the distinct difference between a networker and a connector.

Your long-term memory is the section of your brain that plays into relationship building. It involves that information you try to personally retain because it matters, and you make an effort to remember it. Being a true connector, therefore,  falls into that category.

Everyone has heard of the business card trick. You write down on the back where you meet them, what they do, why they are important. Hold up. Let’s put a twist on this.

I make notes about every single person I meet – but 24 hours later. I recall conversation, what we talked about and why it was interesting. This flies for even online interactions (I have a Word doc specifically for this.) I write down three things I’ve noticed about them. For Arik Hanson, it was that he has two kids, loves the Vikings (any anything Minnesota) and he’s usually in the best mood early morning (or when golf is on.) It not only works on your memory (I can recall anything I’ve ever written down) but it forces you to focus on the core elements of a person – what makes them happy.

Sure, an insane memory is helpful in more ways than I can count. But check out memory books such as “Use Both Sides of Your Brain” which focuses on mind-mapping type techniques; or even researching online for various resources.

Behavioral psychology and sociology books can also help enhance your relationship building skills. It helps to give one a keen understanding of how we react as people, and the differences between different types. It gives you insight to signals, comfort level and how to best interact.

So, try it. Remember a little detail and pick up the phone to call that person. Gauge reaction. Chances are, the fact that you remember something shows the importance that person plays into your life.

What do you think? How does memory play into your everyday life?

Image Credit: Life 123

Fear used to be an insane type of motivator for me in the PR field – whether it was on the agency or corporate side. It wasn’t a positive motivator in the least… but it was there, pushing.

Fear of:

• Not meeting standards set by supervisors
• Not meeting client expectations
• Not working enough hours (roughly 50-70, depending)
• Not meeting goals set by myself

I had a supervisor who once told me, “The work you do directly impacts whether we keep you or you get a paycheck.” While that is true, the delivery was terrible. Getting a point across comes down to tone, delivery and how the other person receives it. To make sure I attained this goal, she asked me to send updates at 8, 12 and 5. Since I couldn’t even send emails to the client without her approval, I figured a status update was a good way to practice.

My first thought was, “Oh, crap. Well, ok. No pressure there.” My 21 year old, just graduated from college self could only nod meekly.

A year later, I almost ended my PR career before it even started.

I think many battle this fear of failing. It can drive success at times. It can drive you to think outside the box, work your butt off and achieve great results. Is it healthy? Not really. Failing can help you learn and overcome obstacles. The thing they don’t tell you in school is how hard it is to separate personal feelings from your professional role. The validation factor reared its ugly head. It’s something of a struggle, that validation. Placing emphasis on those that don’t matter can be the death of a job. On the flipside, working in a job that makes you fear isn’t a great fit either.

At this stage in my career, I focus on what my bosses think of my work, what our team thinks and our user community. Am I always on target with that? No. Beating yourself up behind the scenes can happen, especially with personal slights taken at you. It’s up to you to take the high road. For me, it’s not just representing myself. I’ve always represented brands as well. It’s why I don’t cuss, don’t discuss a lot of personal or go very negative. Do I slip up? Sometimes. However, it’s deciding to not let it take over. I have people who give great “reality checks” that have been there. It’s all about finding them.

What’s your balance? Has fear ever driven you? Is it an age thing?

My co-worker Teresa Basich recently vlogged about the new direction she wants to take, what her blog means and how she hasn’t disappeared.

A new direction. Change is scary. It always has been.  This blog was initially my outlet into the world of PR, communications and brand building. I had no other way to express my thoughts or emotions. Now, I work for an amazing company where I’ll be able to niche-specific talk about agencies and their role in social, brand-building and strategy on Radian6’s blog. I am able to talk B2B specific in an u30 voice for MarketingProfs Daily Fix.

I started #u30pro with Dave (almost a year ago! )in hopes that we could really tackle issues facing the u30 workforce – while also taping into other professionals outside that age group. That community is a drive that I can’t capture in one sentence, and I can’t wait to see where it goes.

In essence? I have lots of outlets, but it’s pretty reflective of my work experience as well. I’ve interned for movie studios. I worked for the most intelligent association in the world, literally. I’ve worked in both small and large agencies.

I’ve just never been able to pinpoint what this blog means to me. And honestly, it’s meant a lot. When I won “Best Up and Coming” in the 2009 PR Blog Awards, I just wanted to continue on the path I set forth.

I’m ready to rock the change. I will be working soon with Andrew Norcross on a blog design that I hope reflects my new direction. New challenges. And a renewed hope in my blog writing on this type of level.

img src: WomensWeddingDress.com

Ever since I have started working in the professional space, this specific post has been in the back of my mind. As women, do we struggle more with dress in the workplace, in the sense of being taken seriously by others?

While talking about this with Tamsen McMahon, she brought up the great question of branding/company feel, and then the conversation shifted to generations. Is it a generation thing?

I don’t have all the answers. Gini Dietrich opened a great dicussion re: brands/dress/presentations, but I want to delve more specifically in how women are portrayed.

So, a list of questions/topics – and let’s discuss. This isn’t a post just for women, as I am also curious how men portray what they see. Frankly, I want to be taken seriously for my brain, not how I’m dressed. So how do you balance?

Shoes

This is the one area I struggle with – I LOVE heels. Anyone that knows me knows this. I wear mostly black, with no color, to be more professional. The height of the heel can sometimes be too high – many suggest keeping it to 2 inches or lower, no peep-toe. I’ve worn three inch heels before, but lately (and after discussions with key people) I know I need to tone it down and save those for my personal life. For me, it was a height thing internally, but that wasn’t being conveyed externally.

Dress/Skirt Length

If it’s not at your knee, it should be pretty close to it. That’s what I was always taught, but I also see this mindset shifting not only in fashion, but in the workplace. So, what length is acceptable? Does it change when youre in a client meeting/presentation or if you’re just around the office?

Jeans

I’ve worked in agencies for much of my career (and at Mensa, jeans were always acceptable.) As jeans become commonplace, is there a certain wash? Does dark stained always “look” more professional because its closer to a black slack? Then, once you pick wash, do you go for boots, heels or sandals? Much of dress confusion lies in the fact that we want to portray confidence and knowledge, without distracting.

Tattoos/Piercings

I know of organizations who insist you cover any visible tattoos, others who don’t care. Is it a company culture thing? If you have them, do you ask a company before coming to the office what needs to be covered? Same with piercings.

So, what are your thoughts? Pick one area, pick them all, I’d love to know. Let’s talk about experience, first impressions – men and women alike. Like it or not, opinion of how you professionally present yourselves can sometimes cloud your brainpower.

photo credit: riger advertising

Dear Public Relations,

It’s not you, it’s me.

Ok, it’s a lot you and a lot of what I want to do with my life.

Confession: I’ve fallen out of love with you. The traditional you. You’re not my type.

Why? It might come to your head that I’ve fallen for the shiny (somewhat) new kid on the block, social media. My new job might indicate that. Social Media in its form currently sprang on the scene and all of the sudden every single public relations person deemed themselves master of all social media. You’re being forced to evolve a bit. I dig the new haircut, by the way.

Silly, right? Here you were, just trucking along with traditional media outreach, cold calling reporters, building media lists, “integrating” with the advertising side but still being silo’ed, plopping big binders on your clients desk with impressions/multipliers, putting clients in the best light, etc.

Then that New Kid on the Block (kind of like Donny) just came and swiped some professionals from you. Burn. 3rd degree.

There will always be a place in my heart for what you used to be. Now it’s up to the professionals to keep making the changes.

xo,

LAF

This post has been brewing a bit in my mind for the past two months or so, and if you’ve noticed, I haven’t blogged in two weeks, except over at Radian6. Since joining, I’ve had the opportunity to further cultivate my mindset that just because you’re in PR, doesn’t mean you’re in social. At my last agency, I rarely did anything besides edit a press release, as I was fully immersed in social strategy from a PR/ad perspective. Let me tell you – once you don’t have to cold call anymore, it just isn’t appealing. I was still good at it – I just grew from it with other opportunities.

Do PR pros have a place at the strategy table? Absolutely. Should you be working with your advertising side on joint social media ventures? When it’s appropriate at the certain stages, hell yes. Integrated Marketing Communications has never been more true than it is now.

Traditional as we know it won’t work anymore. Can you use traditional tools? Absolutely. Do your formulas have to shift a bit? Do you need to break the multiplier mentality? Yeah, you should have done that last week. Press releases will still be there, as people still want print media and online media.

Analytics/advertising reporting is completely different from a PR/communications perspective – but agencies can use the two in presentation. It all goes back to measurable objectives and what the brand wants to accomplish/measure.

How strong do you think that is?