How Fear Almost Ended the PR Career

Image Credit: Life 123

Fear used to be an insane type of motivator for me in the PR field – whether it was on the agency or corporate side. It wasn’t a positive motivator in the least… but it was there, pushing.

Fear of:

Not meeting standards set by supervisors
Not meeting client expectations
Not working enough hours (roughly 50-70, depending)
Not meeting goals set by myself

I had a supervisor who once told me, “The work you do directly impacts whether we keep you or you get a paycheck.” While that is true, the delivery was terrible. Getting a point across comes down to tone, delivery and how the other person receives it. To make sure I attained this goal, she asked me to send updates at 8, 12 and 5. Since I couldn’t even send emails to the client without her approval, I figured a status update was a good way to practice.

My first thought was, “Oh, crap. Well, ok. No pressure there.” My 21 year old, just graduated from college self could only nod meekly.

A year later, I almost ended my PR career before it even started.

I think many battle this fear of failing. It can drive success at times. It can drive you to think outside the box, work your butt off and achieve great results. Is it healthy? Not really. Failing can help you learn and overcome obstacles. The thing they don’t tell you in school is how hard it is to separate personal feelings from your professional role. The validation factor reared its ugly head. It’s something of a struggle, that validation. Placing emphasis on those that don’t matter can be the death of a job. On the flipside, working in a job that makes you fear isn’t a great fit either.

At this stage in my career, I focus on what my bosses think of my work, what our team thinks and our user community. Am I always on target with that? No. Beating yourself up behind the scenes can happen, especially with personal slights taken at you. It’s up to you to take the high road. For me, it’s not just representing myself. I’ve always represented brands as well. It’s why I don’t cuss, don’t discuss a lot of personal or go very negative. Do I slip up? Sometimes. However, it’s deciding to not let it take over. I have people who give great “reality checks” that have been there. It’s all about finding them.

What’s your balance? Has fear ever driven you? Is it an age thing?

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Donna

Fear causes natural defense mechanisms,we have our own sets of coping techniques.
Good luck!
Laura O'Nizzle

Fabulous post - as a new grad brand new into the big kid career world, it's nice to read things like this and know that everybody experiences growing pains :) Thanks.
Scarlett

I think fear is a good motivator but positive reinforcement gets better results. ESPECIALLY from someone 21 years old who has no idea how to write a professional EMAIL let alone a press release. That being said, its quite possible that this superior was handed a similar lecture from his/her superior and as they say, sh*t flows down hill. I think "reality checks" are helpful but I don't this reflected any "reality". 21 year olds typically need to be brought down a notch but empowerment is a much more effective tool than fear.
laurenfernandez

It's very true, but after taking this week to reflect and talk to others - it doesn't happen as much as it should. Positive reinforcement seems to be more difficult to administer. For me, to avoid being like supervisors I disliked, I wrote down everything I had issues with (and why) each time they occurred throughout my career.
Paul Sutton

Great post, Lauren. Fear is in no way a positive emotion, to my mind, but I think as you become older and more experienced it plays less and less a role in your professional life. At least, that's my experience as a 'thirty something' PR bloke. What you say about not taking things personally is dead right. We all screw up at times and we all have professional and personal pride (I hope!). Clients can be nasty if we make a mistake, bosses can be idiots and pile on the pressure. But becoming fearful about that stops you doing your best work as you become afraid to break out of your comfort zone. And in PR, the comfort zone is your enemy.
laurenfernandez

Thanks Paul!

I tend to be very sensitive in general, so I do take things personally - at least internally. I tend to beat myself up. What I've learned from mentors and those more seasoned is that I can't do that.

You're right, fear can stop you from a lot, instead of being a positive motivator. I think fear is a steep learning curve for most, but if we all can go through it, we can all get through it. :)

Thanks for stopping by!
Rachel Tabacnic

I currently feel like I'm failing.. It's happened before but because of lack of stability at the agency I was with.. I keep putting myself in these situations that set me up for failure. All I really want is a chance to grow and shine as a public relations professional.

You just said everything I was feeling in one page :(

I could really use some assistance or someone who could send out my resume to the right person. I'm willing to uproot my life in order to prove to myself that I can be happy with my career choice.

<3 @PRDivaRach
laurenfernandez

Social networks have really proven to be great for me when it comes to that - connecting, experiencing and learning from others. Twitter chats (such as #u30pro and #pr20chat) have a great network of people that you can learn from.

Agencies can be a bit scary because there sometimes is that lack of stability - but with the right attitude, I know you'll find the right fit.

Keep up those positive thoughts!
Tom Ohle

What everyone else said. It's not just young professionals, though... I mean, I've been doing PR for ten years now, and any project that doesn't go the way I want -- usually a product from a new company or an unestablished brand, or one in a new industry in which I don't have established contacts -- I freak out inside. Knowing that a company or product's success may hinge on my ability to deliver coverage... eh, it's ridiculously daunting.

I don't even have a good way of dealing with the stress. Need to get back to karate -- if I can pull myself away from work long enough -- and release some of it that way.
laurenfernandez

I took up kick-boxing to release stress and get it out of the way. I think PR people tend to be extreme A type personalities, and believe they can handle it all - on their own. Having different avenues and interests completely removed from the PR world is a great first step.

I hope you take up karate!
Jessica Malnik

Thanks, Laura for this fantastic blog post. Your post resonates with me in so many ways. Fear absolutely plays a role in my career. It's mostly the fear of not living up to expectations, whether that be my boss's or even more so, my own expectations. I'm a perfectionist and probably my biggest critic. Some times, that fear of not living up to these expectations makes me work harder and be more successful. And, other times, it gets in my way and makes my second guess what I'm doing. Like you wrote, it's ultimately about learning to overcome those shortcomings and failures.
laurenfernandez

Amen, sista. Being a perfectionist can be great for projects, but it can also serve as a downfall. You want to reach expectations, so you put this insane pressure on yourself. Sometimes, it pans out. Sometimes, you don't meet them.

I think its about being able to balance and recognize what you can accomplish - by setting attainable goals.
KiKi L'Italien

Fear can disable an otherwise brilliant career! I've watched people come in who are bright, cheerful, and full of excitement employees become detached, beaten down, cynical husks of human beings. When I was younger, I was highly susceptible to any kind of negativity and internalized it. I think after a while I learned to recognize times when I needed to prepare myself and protect myself from negativity. It isn't a perfect solution - I still get rattled at times - but finding peace within yourself and recognizing that every person is allowed to make mistakes helps. I don't think it is an age thing, though. My mother is 70 and she still gets down if someone doesn't rave about her latest painting or she feels slighted by perceived innuendo. Great post!
laurenfernandez

I usually internalize it, if only because I have always represented brands in a very public way. Negativity influences not only yourself, but it influences how your brand is perceived.

I've learned to recognize and prepare too - but sometimes, you can't help but beat yourself up. I think a large part of it is just human nature.
Kion Sanders

Great post! Fear is def. something younger professionals struggle with -- especially the ones who want to impress managers.
David Spinks

Fear has definitely played a role in my career so far. I deal with it ever day. Fear of not living up to expectations is probably the biggest one. Fear of the unknown also (which I assume gets easier with experience and age).

In terms of running a business through fear, that is a tactic that I associate with traditional corporate america (which is how many companies are still run). Micromanagement and constant threats will not make an employee work harder.

The book "Drive" talks a lot about this "carrots and sticks" or rewards adn punishments system that doesn't work anymore.

Ever wonder how the "big names" in the industry never seem to have any fear? Makes you wonder...

David, Scribnia
laurenfernandez

True story.

I think you're right that you see it in traditional corporate America.... because not only do you have to meet boss expectations, but meet the pressures they might be feeling, or from people even higher up than them.

Not living up to expectations is scary in a world where you're taught to work as hard as possible for success. When you don't meet them, it can freak someone out.
Rich Pulvino

I think fear may exist more in younger employees because we are so new to the working world and there are so many questions that are unanswered. Uncertainty and the unknown breed fear, but it is important to use that fear as personal fuel instead of being someone who uses that fear as a leadership tactic.

Understanding the importance of your work and the possibility of letting people down if you don't perform to the best of your ability, is fear. Someone in a leadership position pushing fear onto other employees is instilling a culture of fear into a work environment, and that is never healthy. The biggest difference is that with personal fear, you can still work, and be motivated to impress—you are aware that you need to work hard to fulfill your responsibilities. Fear that becomes part of a company's culture can cause us to freeze up.

Fear should never be something that is used as a management tool. It's something that should be personal and that we work to overcome. Encouragement and support can do wonders for anyone who may have a little too much fear on their minds. We all go through these moments, and it is because of supportive team environments that we can work through them.

Great topic, Lauren!

-Rich
laurenfernandez

"Understanding the importance of your work and the possibility of letting people down if you don't perform to the best of your ability, is fear."

This sums up my post so much better than I could. Fear isn't always the traditional sense, but I've found when you view your work as a "career" vs a "job" you are inanely tuned into how important your work is, and how many people it affects.

Thanks for commenting, R!
Valerie Gonzalez

I have a love/hate relationship with letting fear be your driving factor. For me, my dad will pay for my undergrad education, so long as I'm able to bring home a 3.2 GPA for each semester. My dad's constantly in the back of my head when I'm preparing for tests, and working on anything at all. Whenever the pressure starts to add up, I always remind myself of how fortunate I am for the opportunity my dad is giving me, and I look at how far I've come ever since he's given me something to work toward. Suddenly, what seemed like a stressful situation, motivates me to keep pushing. Sometimes, it's all about how you look at it.

I enjoyed reading this post! Thanks for the insight, Lauren.
laurenfernandez

Your dad sounds like mine. I had some high expectations when it came to education, and my parents weren't the type to reward for good grades (like my friends) because I should want to do it, not because I had to. So, it was kind of a reverse fear tactic: disappointment. Disappointment in myself, in the work, etc. I think thats transferred into me in the early parts of my career. I'm lucky to work with people now that are enthusiastic, supportive and want you to succeed.
Amanda Beauchamp

I agree that fear of failure can help you excel but fearing a boss or what they might say or think should never be a factor someone needs to deal with. Effective management doesn't come from instilling fear, it comes from leadership.
laurenfernandez

Very true - but not everyone is a great manager. Leadership comes in great managers (which I've seen) and when they don't know what they are doing, they default to fear tactics. It's an interesting comparison, but I think if you arent effectively managed, it can be hard for some to effectively manage.
Karl Yeh

Fear of failure drives me. I hate to fail and it is that fear that drives me, whether it is at work, racing or sports or in school. Sometimes, activities i would normally enjoy would not be so fun because i really don't want to fail and i just end up working harder or preparing more to get everything right. Its that fear at times that leads to success.
laurenfernandez

I think you're right, Karl, that fear placed well can lead to success. It's not the best tactic, but many people thrive on the pressure they put on themselves to do well, to place first, whatever it may be.

Thanks for providing some insight - you gave me a bit to chew on.
heatherwhaling

I once had a boss who everyone feared. So much so that a couple people actually got physically ill. What you say is true -- to some extent fear can be a good motivator. But, I have to believe that there are other, more positive (and healthy!) ways to motivate employees to want to exceed expectations. As I build the Geben Communication team, I'm making a concerted effort to create an environment that doesn't thrive on fear. Because really, who wants to work in fear? I'm sure that has to contribute to a higher turnover, which increases the cost of doing business. So, it's a lose-lose situation for everyone involved.

Lauren, I'm glad to see you didn't give in to your initial fears. Interestingly, now that you're not working in a fear-based environment, I bet you're still producing high-quality work -- illustrating that fear doesn't have to be the "it" factor. :)

Heather
@prTini
laurenfernandez

There are definitely better and more healthy ways to go about the workday. I think, though, that when you're younger and just starting out, you're so scared of losing a gig that you put up with a lot more than if you were established. We hear all the time how people are judged by the amount of time at one place on a resume - and right out of the gate, it can be terrifying to think you'll have to explain why you were only at place for 6 months. Inexperience interviewing plays into that - you have no idea how to communicate the why.

And you're right, fear doesn't drive me anymore - but the new turn on my blog is to hopefully convey real life experiences through the industry that everyone can relate to and contribute to conversation. :)
Allie Mac

Heather, I couldn't agree more with your comment. My boss right now is a very career-driven, single, divorced mother who has fought and worked hard to get to the top. The problem is that all of those characteristics can cause her to come off as cold and, well, scary. Her management tactics don't always inspire the way I think she intends them to. Rather they put bad stress in people that stays with them both in and outside of the office.

She once said to us that when she was younger she feared for her job every day and had to work hard to prove herself so she wouldn't get fired. I think that sucks. That sucks that every day you feared for your job. While some fear can instill some motivation within a person, too much fear can drive them to hate their job and that's not good for anyone.

Laura this is a GREAT post. And I think it resonates so well with PR students in their 20s.
laurenfernandez

Thanks, Allie! And I agree with Heather too. Spot on. It does suck feeling you have to prove yourself everyday - its not healthy. There is a balance to where you can produce quality work and succeed, rather than cower at the completion of every single day.